Play to Win

I’m a competitive person, even when I don’t mention it or throw a fit, I compete with everyone in my mind. This has presented itself most fiercely in the pursuit of beating updates in Candy Crush (I have friends that wait for updates to play because they are that far ahead).

Where my competitiveness also presents itself is with my son. He’s NOT competitive, at all. Most of the time, he’s rainbows and unicorns. He doesn’t have a fight in him, or as his grandpa says, have a fire in him.

Grandpa signed him up for soccer and I went to his practice. He was running and “in the game”. That is a huge improvement from the last time he was on a team. I asked grandpa what he thought, and her said he’s trying to hold his tongue and give him time to get used to the sport again.  All I heard was he’s ok, but not trying his best.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he has to be THE best, just try HIS best. And I know his best. Running is at Olympic level when he’s with friends or doing what he wants to do.

But I was very proud of myself, I said nothing to him. I asked him if he enjoyed playing, what was his favorite part, and kept the conversation positive. That’s leaps and bounds for me. I normally try to holster my anger, biting my lip, if I can contain myself from getting on his case.

You know he will be ok. He’s young and maybe athletics aren’t his thing.

What’s ok for you this week? What are you letting go of?

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Halloween Style

Becoming a parent has shown me how many hangups I have. Little things that I never even considered before have me hesitant. Take for example, Halloween. Every year, I dress up my son and take him trick or treating. The last couple of years, we’ve only done Trunk or Treat at churches. Mainly because it’s easier, faster, and allows me to keep my eye on him without crossing the street. This year, for the first time, I had nothing to do with Halloween. Having hit my ninth month of pregnancy, I hadn’t even considered what I wanted them to be for Halloween. And when it came down to it, I didn’t have the ability to go shopping for them. I’ve also spent time making costumes. I didn’t do that either.

This year, my sister-in-law took both children shopping for costumes, then my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law took them trick or treating. I love the idea that they could go without me, but it still made me really sad to have to stay home with the baby. Since this is the first time I’ve had support, this is the first time that they did something that I did not participate in on purpose. They had a blast, and me and baby 4G stayed home and watched TV in the nice quiet house.

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It’s all okay and in the future I’ll start have to let go of the fact that I can’t be at everything every time my kids do something. I will miss being their one and only support to be at all events, however it’s nice that the pressure’s off that I don’t have to be the one get up and goes out every single time.

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Yes, it’s Okay

It’s okay…

…that J and I don’t always get along. We ultimately love each other and have worked through tons.

…that I take comments personally. I can’t reject what I feel just to please someone else or make someone else feel comfortable.

…that on the other hand, I need to discuss these things with the people who said them so that I don’t harbor resentment.

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…that J and I don’t always agree on parenting.  Although I’m willing to help with homework questions, I’m not willing to repeat the 4th grade with him. I was quite successful the first time and its Ds time to learn.

…that expect a lot from D. He’s a bright child with bright and ambitious parents. I don’t want his laziness to overcome what he could be and do.

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…that sometimes I wish that I had a mute button for little Miss B’s constant calls for “Mom”, “Mommy” and “Momma”. After the hundredth time of the day, and it’s only 9 a.m., I need a break!

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Its Okay that I’m Letting Go of Responsibility

Being a mother, we have a tendency to be the ones that “do it all”.

But quite frankly, I’m tired. I’m coming to the end of my term and I just don’t want to do anything.

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She’s all squished in there! But laying peacefully!

My little Ms B can run circles around me all day long, and now more than ever, I’d love to just veg out in front of the television, watching all of the new fall shows.

I haven’t cooked dinner in a week. If it’s not ready made, it doesn’t get served.

I haven’t bathed my children in about as long.

Well, this series is about Letting Go in order to become better parents. So what have I been doing? With Ms B, I’ve been reading more to her, practicing her letters, working on her annunciation. With Mr D, I’ve been working with him on his homework and his new piano lessons.

This week, I’m just letting go of doing pretty much anything else!

What are you letting go of this week?

Letting Goitsokay

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Letting Go When the Grandparents Spoil…

A few weeks ago, when Lanaya (over at Raising Reagan) talked about her mom spoiled little Reagan, I pretty much brushed it off. Hey, that’s what grandparents are there for, right?

But then it happened to me.

See, until last week, I lived across the country from my in-laws, the grandparents that spoil my children. My son would visit every summer for about a month. He would return spoiled, but after a week, he would be back in his normal (sometimes snotty) mood.

Now, it’s different. He’s been spending almost every day over at the in-laws since we are staying with my SIL until we find a place we want to buy. There’s not a lot of space here, and they have space over there, so he stays there for days on end.

The attitude that comes with him when he returns is AWFUL! He’s a hot mess of a personality. Questioning every little thing… wondering why I would have the audacity to have expectations of him or why he has a BEDTIME!

This back and forth thing is different for us, especially for me. My family doesn’t really spoil my children, so dealing with this as a daily matter is SO different for me.

But I’m going to have to learn to let it go… because this is my new life, one that I happily chose to change our family dynamic. This attitude will come and go and I’ll have to have him reign it in, but also realize that it’s going to happen.

Letting go of this is not just about ignoring it but accepting our new surroundings and family support – which comes with the good (and the bad). I can guarantee, letting go will make things much better.

What are you letting go of this week?

Letting Go

 

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Letting the Mess Happen

I’ve wanted to join in Lanaya’s Letting Go series for since it started. But I was completely overwhelmed by well, not letting go of all the stuff I needed to do.

This week, I’ll start with Letting Go of Things Being Done My Way.

I didn’t have much growing up. Thankfully, I had full control of things that were “mine” in my house in my room. For the most part, my room was always clean and minimalistic. I don’t like a lot of stuff and knick-knacks. Don’t get me wrong, I think they’re beautiful, they are just extra things I need to clean and I HATE cleaning.

Not only do I hate cleaning, having kids doubles and triples all the work. I swear you can clean the house from top to bottom, then you leave the room to clean another room, and come back to what looks like a tornado hit it.

I mean.. how does the banister get dirty after it gets cleaned off? I really don’t get it. I can’t even explain it… but I clean it off, and somehow very quickly, it looks like this:

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Quite frankly, I’m too lazy to clean it up a second time. Especially since I didn’t make the mess and I just cleaned it.o, I

But I need to get into letting go of getting angry when it’s time to clean up. My son, who’s 9, is in a rebellious stage of not wanting to do any cleaning, no matter how much of the mess is his. So, this week, I’m going to let go of getting frustrated for not jumping on the cleaning wagon especially during summer break.

What are you letting go of in your parenting?

Letting Go

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