Eleven years ago, May 2003, I found out I was pregnant.
Now for most people, I’m sure that’s not big news. Or maybe it is. Maybe you’ve been trying for some time. Or maybe you’re in a committed relationship and “Oops!” a baby was on its way. Maybe you’re young and inexperienced and don’t know any better… or pretend like you don’t.
None of those were me.
Let me describe myself 12 years ago. I was in my second year of law school. My life consisted of studying and watching television. My budget was tight, so I stayed in a small, old “one-bedroom” apartment, because I didn’t want roommates and even getting one wouldn’t make anything cheaper. I had a kitchette, not a full kitchen, something like this:
Mid year through my first year of law school, I had broken up with my college boyfriend. I knew we weren’t right for each other and I found this awesome guy in law school. But in the time I took to find out if my feelings were real or if it was because I was lonely, he started seeing and dating another person.
I felt alone. I turned to online social media sites. At the time, we didn’t have all of the wonderful sites to socialize or meet people that we do now. I met this great guy on Blackplanet.com, who lived in Michigan! In Michigan! I was in California in law school. He was in grad school in Michigan.
At the time, he didn’t plan to move to California and he sure as heck wasn’t planning to move to California. He had family in Florida and no one in California.
He came out to visit me… twice. Yada, yada, I found out I was pregnant in May of 2003.
I’m not sure what happened or why it happened the way it did. I didn’t have a great support system. If I kept my child, I could not depend on anyone to help me raise him, I knew that. I’m also all for a woman’s right to choose.
My choice was virtually non-existent. When I found out, I didn’t freak out, I didn’t cry, I didn’t do much of anything but call my mother and my son’s father to let them know. There was no choice in the matter, for me. I never considered doing anything besides keeping him, wanting him and loving him to the utmost.
Nine months later, after patiently waiting to find out the gender, I had my prince. He turned 10 this year. I never knew I could love someone so much, be willing to give my life for someone else, and very much have.
The best decision I ever made was to have my son… In a country where that is a choice, in a place where those on the “right” and “left” have used the services to choose every day, I chose to have my son. I’m proud of that decision and I have never looked back.
Having my son, brought my husband to California, only returning to Florida last year, with me. Now we have three beautiful children and one in heaven.