The Year Without a Word

I’ve done it all, lengthy goal lists, SMART goal lists, and last year, I chose a word. We are a month and a half into the year and quite frankly, I can’t come up with a word. Therefore, I’m choosing to go a year without a word.

I love to create goals and attain them. I love to be able to use a checklist. Most of all, I love to feel accomplished.

The Year Without A Word | AprilNoelle.comSince becoming a stay at home mom, accomplishment comes far and few between. Even if I can get a project completed, it’s quickly replaced with a new one.

There are no accolades or meetings called because you managed to clean the house from top to bottom in one day. Worse yet, normally the response from the family often seems to be “great, there are some clean surfaces that I can dirty”.

The worse part of being a SAHM was the constant feeling like I had to justify my time. I had to do more than being their mother because watching my children for the day wasn’t enough.

Honestly, some of this was personal shame. I didn’t feel nearly as important as a mom.

But what didn’t make it easier was other mothers inquiring into why I wanted to be a SAHM (family and friends included):

  • “Don’t you feel like your wasting your degree?”
  • “Aren’t you bored?”
  • “Don’t you want to show your daughters an example of a strong woman?”
  • “What do you do all day?”

It took me some time to realize that my answers are, and should have always been:

No.

No.

I am.

Take care of my children.

I always felt like I needed to justify my SAHM-hood and just being their mom was not enough.

The truth, though, I was enough and I still am. \

Funny, now that my kids are in school, I’m trying to learn how to slow down. I feel like I’m running in circles trying to keep up appearances, to keep busy.

I also, don’t want the pressure to do or be anything.

So, this year, I don’t have a word, no specific goals (except to actually lose this f**g weight) and to learn what it is to be a mother and wife without losing myself.

28 comments on “The Year Without a Word”

  1. Amber Myers says:

    This is a great way of looking at things. My word was DAMN because I said it so much in 2016. But I never pick anything too serious, because I also don’t want to mess with the pressure.

  2. Thank you for sharing this great post! The last words are so me, those are my goals every year.

  3. tara pittman says:

    I am proud to say I am a stay at home mom. My kids are better because I choose to stay home.

  4. Moms choose to stay at home because it is essential for a child’s development. Everyone knows that being a mom is the hardest job in the world but it’s all worth it especially when you see your kids growing up to be a good citizen of this country. You don’t have to count the sacrifices you are offering your family because it is every parent’s purpose, to give without waiting for anything in return. God will provide and bless moms that were taking good care of their kids in a priceless way.

  5. Elizabeth O. says:

    Honestly, this pressure on stay at home moms is too much. They’re taking care of the kids and maintaining a home, is that not ever enough? I think it’s great that you’re finally ignoring the people around you. You don’t have to answer to anyone.

  6. Milton Goh says:

    Major respect for Stay at Home mums!! Salute to you! My wife and I are stay at home parents and we know how challenging it can be.

  7. Nikki says:

    Being a SAHM is definitely hard work. I was one for the first two years of my son’s life, then I became a WAHM. I don’t think anyone should have to justify their life choices (unless, of course, you choose to become a criminal or something, lol).

  8. I loved your talk about how it feels like being a mom is “not enough.” Like it’s not enough to change the diapers and cook the food and clean the house and break up the fights and disinfect the toys and wipe the noses and drive to the appointments. It’s not enough to coach them and love them and guide them and let them be secure in knowing that someone is ALWAYS there for them.

    But it IS enough – and they need that. I can testify personally that when a mother leaves her children – even in such a small way as the transition from SAHM to WAHM, it is stressful and hard on the kids. My children have even sabotaged my work time purposely in order to “get me back” because they feel a sense of loss when I am suddenly not devoted to them anymore.

    That being said, I do think it’s important for you to take this journey without being ONLY a mom. Be a woman too, and a person with hobbies, strengths, talents. Be a mom, but you can be the best mom by being “more than a mom” – embracing your individuality.

  9. I often feel like people think I don’t really do anything all day! I don’t mind helping others while I’m at home. But I’m constantly having people call to watch their kids or pets, assuming I’m not doing anything. Some people don’t realize I’m doing work at home.

  10. I love this. I love your answer to rude SAHM parents. No goals – except the ones that matter most. Being you. Being a parent. Not losing any of that.
    This is my favorite non-word word post of 2017!

  11. There is so much pressure around being a SAHM that so many don’t get. Best advice I can give, is stop worrying about others because these years fly by. You can always use the degree later, but you can’t replace this time.

  12. My sister was a SAHM and even home schooled 2 of my nieces. She also earned a degree of her own but prefers the role of homemaker which is why her family is so organized and successful. All 3 of her children are college grads and starting their own families. If you ask her, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. Her children, family, and home were her career.

  13. Echo says:

    YES! I love this! I said screw it this year too and decided to focus on the guarantees, instead of the could-bes.

  14. I get that too. While I will probably be going back to the work force soon, I hear that I am wasting my degree all the time. I have a Masters in Legal Studies but I love being a SAHM right now.

  15. G&D Blog says:

    This is nice. Not only for moms out there, but for everyone. And yes, you’re right…you dont need to set yourself with any word. help yourself not to lose yourself, at the end, you’ll be happy. 🙂

  16. Elizabeth says:

    Wordless is fine 🙂 Just living is good. I can’t believe in this day and age there are still people who question those who are SAHM’s. It’s no one’s business! You just keep being your awesome you and good luck with the weight loss. 🙂

  17. Living good is important. This is a great way of looking at things. 🙂 Thank you for sharing 🙂

  18. Being a stay at home mom is priceless! I think that’s a huge problem in the world today – mom’s in the workplace. I get it. I know there are some families where both parents have to work but if you’re in the position where you can stay home, do it! My mom left her job to raise me and my two sisters because she didn’t want some random day care raising us for her and my dad. I totally think it made a HUGE difference on how we were raised – not to mention, I’m super super super close with my mom today!

  19. It is good you realise that people say the dumbest things. We get the opposite side of this by choosing not to have children.

  20. Kudos to you for being at SAHM, I don’t know where people have gotten the idea that those who stay at home don’t work.

    I wish the best for you towards your weight loss goals (that’s on my list of things to accomplish this year)

    1. April Noelle says:

      It’s a never-ending job, no matter which way you want to play it. Thank you! Wishing you the best towards your goal too!

  21. Wren says:

    I remember when I became a SAHM. I struggled with feeling enough. It took me sometime to realize that being a SAHM is the best thing for me and my family. At first I did not think I was getting any recognition for the things I do everyday, until I realized my children’s happy faces were my recognition and their thank yous are the most honest kind. Enjoy your year with no word! I am sure you are doing a fantastic job and finishing more projects then you think you are 😉

    1. April Noelle says:

      Yes, watching my children and hearing that my children are some of the happiest and well-adjusted children in their classes is well worth it.

  22. Glenda says:

    People are so darn rude when they assume SAHM are wasting their time! I seriously believe people asking those questions are simply jealous. Nowadays too are too many kids are home alone or raised by daycare or sibling.

  23. Tiffany says:

    Thank you for sharing this lovely and honest post. Also I completely agree with the last sentence haha, I gained 15 f*#$ing pounds and am so ready to lose it! ugh

    1. April Noelle says:

      Sure, I’m struggling man, I truly am. I don’t know what it is… I hate to say that I’m not eating enough, but that looks like it’s the problem. :/ We’ll see in a few days.

  24. This post hits close to home. When I first became a SAHM, I received so much backlash from my family, more so my mother. I had left my career to start a family in a different state. For some, it was the worst decision I’ve ever made. For my family and I, it’s been one of the best. The second was creating something out of nothing. Before I moved I started my blog. I worked hard at it daily and I now reap the benefits of my labor.

    Keep going when someone thinks you’re wasting your time. Show yourself you’re doing the best you can to accomplish your goals, and always ALWAYS place your family before anything. I learned that lesson a long time ago 🙂

    1. April Noelle says:

      I have. I wish it didn’t take me so long. I’m much more comfortable now. Thank you for sharing these words of encouragement.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *