I’ll Take Confidence for $2000

My soul yearns to have the confidence that I once had. I used to live by my personal motto:

If You Don't Ask, The Answer is Already No | Building Self-Confidence | AprilNoelle.com
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It wasn’t until I wrote this post that I realized I had forgotten this.  I felt like a walking contradiction.

On one hand, I was extremely shy when dealing with personal talents, where I could thrive in front of people, public speaking, self-promotion, and singing. I didn’t. I shied away from any of the opportunities.

On the other, I felt I could conquer the world and get anywhere I wanted to. I would do things that my friends never thought of… like asking to get into a club for free (which I always did) and sending resumes to local law firms for a job that they didn’t know they had (landing a job for $15/hr while going to school full-time).

But here I sit, almost 20 (gulp!) years later and I freeze. Ask me to pitch a company, excuses fall out of my mouth. Ask me to post my blog in a new space, what if they don’t want it there? Ask me to MC, well, that’s still the same.

Here I am, in front of a new place in my life, and I’m too afraid to take that step, and in some places those leaps to get me to my next goal.

A series of questions run through my head:

  • What if they don’t like me?
  • What if I stumble over the words?
  • What if my words upset someone?
  • What if I make a mistake? Like, misuse a word?
  • What if I am dry?
  • What if they fall asleep while I’m trying to talk?
  • What if they talk while I’m trying to talk?

…and on and on.

But where does any of that get me? Living the exact life that I have. Not that it’s a bad life, but it’s not the one I dreamed of.

In my quest to fight this desire to crawl into a ball, I’ve started reading Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. She was an introvert who only appeared through her words, her stories, her imagination. She didn’t show up and always said “no”. Until one year…

I want to say that I have her commitment, her competitive spirit to turn every “no” into a “yes”, but I sure as hell going to try.

***

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Your hosts are, as always, Kristi from Finding Ninee and this week’s sentence-thinker-upper, Deirdre from Deirdre’s Daily Dose.

Finish the Sentence Friday is a link-up where writers and bloggers come together to share their themselves with a particular sentence. If you’d like to stay ahead of future sentences and participate, join our Facebook group.  Link up your sentence prompts below! Also, if you’re just “link dumping,” don’t bother.

23 comments on “I’ll Take Confidence for $2000”

  1. At times it amazes me how much I have not done because of fear and a lack of confidence. I so very hope that this really is your year of yes. And mine too. All of us.

  2. Tamara says:

    Sometimes I worry that fear and anxiety have stopped me from living, but it’s strange. It’s like I’ve still done so many big things. I think it’s the smaller things that suffer – pitching companies, for sure.

  3. I’ve noticed with age my confidence level has diminished. It seems the more I live, the less I believe in myself. I think it’s because I’m not where I expected to be. I catch myself having to consciously tell myself like I’m a child that it’s ok if things don’t work out the way I want them to, whether it be I’m not where I want to be, or maybe because I didn’t have the confidence to get what I want, and sometimes if the answer is no. But if I could go back in time to change anything about my life, I wouldn’t.

    1. April Noelle says:

      I relate to this sentiment so much. I keep trying to tell myself that I’m my own worse critic. Most people think I’m doing fine even though I don’t feel like I’m where I should be. I wouldn’t redo it my life either, I just need to stand in my own life, with confidence.

  4. Awww its not just you huni, Lots of people face the same stumbling block I say JUST DO IT grab your self confidence back and get on with living life Out Loud! I’ll take your confidence at 1mil and double it 🙂 Dont undervalue yourself either gal, you rock this is your year take it allback…fearfully and Wonderfully made. and The Answer Is YES YEs YES…..the Universe is saying Yes to you daily. grab it!

  5. Elizabeth O. says:

    I used to be very shy as well, especially when I had to speak in front of a crowd. That was terrifying for me, really. One day, I just got tired of it all and I started challenging myself, if my classmates can do it, so can I. I would volunteer to speak and do speeches and reports in front of the class or the school when there’s an event. I would always raise my hand to answer, just to get used to the fact that I need to talk out loud. It was a lot of work, but it all paid off. Interviews don’t bother me anymore, I just think of it as a bunch of questions in a quiz that’s spoken not written and the rest is history.

    1. April Noelle says:

      That may be where my problem stems from. I used to be that “know it all” and my teachers stopped letting me answer questions and often ask them as well.

  6. I really love this post. Without confidence, you’ll never be the best you can be in any aspect of your life. That’s true for all of us!

  7. lisa says:

    I really need to get past my fear of asking people for help or for anything really. I need to work on my confidence level in a lot of things.

  8. Angie says:

    So so so true. Sometimes you just have to build up your courage and go for something-what’s the worst that could happen? Everyone survives a little rejection.

  9. I think of Self-Confidence as a muscle, you have to exercise it to keep it in shape! Cheers to a year of ‘positive risks’, ‘being in the moment’ and asking for what you want – then reaching out bravely to get it!

  10. This is a very inspiring post. I am an introvert, too, and I am always too shy. I need to turn every “no” into a “yes”.

  11. Ryan Escat says:

    I totally agree with this. There’s nothing wrong in asking.

  12. Bonnie @wemake7 says:

    I suffer from anxiety so I’m always worried and scared of doing anything. I wish I could do more.

  13. I remember when I first started blogging. I wasn’t afraid to ask or pitch a company. I just figure that the least they could say is “no”. Now ask me to call someone on the phone, no thanks.

  14. Kathy says:

    I love this! I say the same thing over and over. Sometimes my kids won’t ask things and I tell them then it’s a no. My oldest is shy, so she has a hard time asking others for things.

  15. Britni says:

    I love this quote. I spend so much time worrying about things. If I just had a little confidence and went for it life would be a lot less stressful and probably a lot more fun!

  16. I can totally relate to this! I, too, have some serious issues with putting myself out there. I don’t have one pivotal moment in my life where I was shot down in some tragic way or anything, I have just always been severely introverted, and as I’ve gone through life and faced moments when I absolutely had to be confident, I have just felt vulnerable and awkward. It’s no wonder I’ve chosen a life that puts me comfortably behind a computer!

  17. ricci says:

    I used to be a pretty confident person and not afraid of much but as I have gotten older fear has gotten the better of me and I need to stop it. Great post!!

  18. Jesica H says:

    I was looking for something to get myself out of the house after having two kids and being a stay at home mom. I joined a direct selling company, and although selling things turned out not to be for me, I gain so much confidence. I was always worried to throw myself out there, and I am very outgoing person, but shy in many situations! I totally get where you are coming from!

  19. Very interesting questions. I am that “What if” person and I am really trying to change that especially with my business decisions. Sometimes you need to just go with it and try.

  20. rika says:

    I was very confident and with age my confidence level has decreased. I feel like I am not the same person anymore 🙁

  21. I get those feelings too but it’s important that we should not let these thoughts get the best of us. It’s like having a little monster within keeping us from doing what we want, we need to fight back.

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