My Little Superheroes

Sleep. Productivity. Social life. My career.

What stops me from thriving in all of these? My children.

When we lost Alexander, my life changed. Really it changed my priorities. Before it was work, social life, family. Now, it’s family, work, social life.

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My sleep disruption started with Bee, my third. Ever since her birth, she was a terrible sleeper. I tried “sleep training” her, I tried letting her cry it out, but neither was effective. The only way she would sleep is if I held her; keyword here “I”. Dad couldn’t take her, friends and family couldn’t take her. Even when my husband did manage to get her to sleep, he would lay her across his legs on a pillow, get a fan going and shook her to sleep. On one hand, she would actually go to sleep instead of cry. On the other, all of the extras made it more difficult for me to put her to sleep, who became a stay at home mom after her birth.

Bee continued to sleep most nights in our bed well after Butterfly was born. She would start in her bed and come into our bed every night. We would go back and forth throughout the night. Putting Bee in her bed and her returning. This stopped fairly recently with a bribe of candy the next day for staying in her bed. It’s working.

Somehow, Butterfly has picked up this terrible middle of the night habit. Ultimately, the biggest problem is that I don’t mind them in the bed with us, I just know it’s a bad precedent if we ever want our bed back.

In short, I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in over four years.

 

My productivity overall has dropped drastically with my children around. I used to work a lot. In college, I was working more than 40 hours a week. In law school, while others were partying and studying, I was working about 20 hours a week. After law school, I worked anywhere between 60 and 80 a week and I loved it.

Now, I have to stop and do things like hug, kiss and love on them. We spend a lot of time reading, learning numbers and playing instruments. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, “Yes Ms. Bee”. Elsa and Anna costume time? “Of course, my dears.” Want to go grab sushi? “Yes, son.” But that last one may be more for me.

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My social life… what happened? This one had a slow disappearance for me. Every week, I make a choice to spend time with my kids over going out. Maybe it’s their age, maybe it’s their personalities, but I actually like them, no matter what I say.

I still like to go out and I’m tied to the community that forces me to get out of the house. Yet, I have to say cuddles, a movie and popcorn beats a lot of the nights out.

Oh, my career. Well, that’s just plainly in the backseat now. I have this (aprilnoelle.com) and ModernishMommas.com and that’s my career for now. This year, my business is expanding, but only around my children.

 

What’s your kryptonite?

 

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27 comments on “My Little Superheroes”

  1. Heather says:

    Congrats on your expanding business and taking care of three kids!

  2. Laurie says:

    I feel you about having a bad sleeper. I can’t get my 8 month old to sleep train. I don’t know the last good night of sleep I had probably a year and a half ago lol

  3. April, this is lovely. The photo of your kids with their feet up on one another’s backs is so adorable! I can imagine that the loss of Alexander drastically changed your priorities. Here’s to hugging them tightly and choosing reading to them over work. So glad that you linked up.

  4. angie says:

    you have beautiful children and I so agree my children come first in all. I have given up a lot for them and will continue to put them first and now we have grand-children coming in
    come see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com

  5. The photos of your children that you posted are adorable.

  6. Elizabeth O. says:

    I gave up a lot of things when I had the twins, these days I have more time for myself. But when they were younger, they are top priority. I didn’t care much about my social life because my friends always understood that the kids come first, or maybe they just got used to it. Lol.

  7. Amanda says:

    It’s awful to be sleep deprived! I thought I was past that stage myself, but my two year old is cutting molars and back to the land of exhaustion I go!

  8. tara pittman says:

    They will sleep through the night one day. Sounds like my youngest 2. They sleep though the night at age 4

  9. You have a great and interesting life story April. I admire the way you deal your life especially during ups and down and of course on how to set up your priorities. I remember my wife with you who has the same life perspective as yours. Thanks for sharing.

  10. Eugenia says:

    Your kids are so nice and adorable! I am so sorry that you lost Alexander and you had to change your life. Social life is important, but kids are the centerpiece of our life!

  11. Hmm it would have to be my work. My son is my source of strength and since I am a single Mom I need to be able to work and provide for him.

  12. Clara says:

    Good that your focus is on your children. Some women don’t realize they have to prioritize.

  13. Love the photos April. I clicked over “Alexander” before I read this one. I truly understand what/why the change. And of course even with or without that experience, being where you are now, a mother without a social life – it’s enough – most of the time it’s wonderfully so enough.

  14. Oh your kiddos are so cute though, worth it! And yes, motherhood changes every single thing, all of it. But I have a long-term look and feel like we are going to be looking at the other side in a few short years and wish we had these unproductive days back. We can do it!!

  15. I think that all our lives change on a dime when our kids show up. They are so fun and fundamental. How they not grab your life by the scruff of the neck and shake it until you have to laugh for crying? And then they look up at you, smile that smile, and melt your heart into a little puddle on the floor.

    Yep. Yep yep.

  16. Congratulations on being able to expand your business. That’s great news, and I am glad that you are expanding it around your children. That’s so important when you’re a working parent.

    My kryptonite would be my depression. It gets in the way of so much, especially my career. I was once so driven and worked a ton, bettering myself, my websites, my writing portfolio. Now I’m lucky if I get a few posts written a week. I’m working on being better now, but it can certainly be a struggle.

    1. April Noelle says:

      Thank you so much. I love them dearly.

      I’ve been depressed and pretending for so much of my life, that depression has not been a kryptonite. I know that sounds counterintuitive. So many people relied on me for so long, and I learned to smile through the pain. I would go home crying, but I could function during the day. Not sure how I did it now that I’m not in the same mental state. Feel free to contact me if you would like to chat more about it. In the meantime, smile as much as you can, even if you don’t mean it. It WILL make you feel better eventually.

  17. Rosey says:

    Productivity does drop when you have kids. That’s okay though, they’re worth it. 🙂

  18. Kids definitely have a way of reconfiguring our priorities! Such cute pictures, too!

  19. Doran says:

    What a beautiful family. Family time is so important and they will remember it when they grow into their own families.

  20. Lawrence says:

    Congrats on your expanding business. My social life plummeted when I became a father. The reality for me is I don’t miss it at all. I thought I would. But nope. Hanging out with my kids in crisis mode still beats the best Guys Night out I can think of!

    1. April Noelle says:

      I would be more excited to give up my social life if I didn’t spend ALL DAY with the littles. But yes, I love spending time with them.

  21. It’s amazing how much our lives change over time, especially where being responsible for other little human beings comes into play. Congratulations on your growing business and hurrah to keeping it going with three kids in tow!

  22. Having three kids must be a lot of fun but could be difficult at sleeping hours… Great pics by the way.. they look adorable!

  23. Mardene Carr says:

    Motherhood changes us….for the better. We begin to think about these little ones more

  24. CourtneyLynne says:

    Omg what cuties!!!! Congrats on the whole business thingy :):) so exciting!!

  25. Molly Kumar says:

    Awee, they are such a cuties – I so agree with you that so many things change after having kids but a Cuddle n Smile from them just makes your day 🙂 Love reading this.

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