A Letter to My Younger Self: Keep Going

Normally, I don’t write a letter to my younger self or consider thinking about “what if” or “regret” posts. Rarely do I feel like the grass is greener. Often, I feel like the other side of the fence is a landfill avalanche, ready to suck you down with all of the bits of crap that’s been tossed inside.

Of course, that’s not always the case and it’s apparent that I’m not an optimist. Yet tonight, I feel like I should write a little note to a previous, younger version of myself.

Dear Law School April,

I’m so proud of you. You are accomplishing your “dream”, working that law school degree. You’ve taken the time to care about those around you, and even though they don’t say “Thank You” or show their appreciation, you’re doing the right thing. This can’t happen any other way, your heart isn’t ready to break quite yet.

A Letter To Me

As you push forward in your degree, you’ll become increasingly sad and distant, trying to find purpose. The lack of appreciation will wear on your spirit, your soul. You’ll join every organization that appeals to you, and when none of them are fulfilling, you’ll start your own. You’ll grow it to the point where the next class jumps in and brings it to a level you never imagined.

You should feel proud. You should feel grateful. You should feel happy.

You don’t. You won’t.

Everything will change when you meet this man. You will inadvertently find him online. He becomes a safe place to talk, letting him know your secret desires and passions, your fears and your anxieties. Even though most will take place on the impersonal computer, you will feel something for him. You will think it’s love. Continue to believe that.

One day, he will no longer be an AIM name and description. One day, he will want to meet you in person. Do it. This man will change your thought on love. A few months later, he will give you a gift that you never thought you wanted.

This gift will change your purpose, given to you 10 months later.

Your son will be the sweetest, kindest, little person you’ll ever meet. Often, he reminds you of a little you, and when he doesn’t, he reminds you of his father.

You will start to question your desire to be a lawyer, but be hesitant to make a move. You’ve invested so much time and money in this venture and you can’t afford to change careers.

I’m writing all of this to tell you that you can’t afford not to. As always, you can be happy being a lawyer, you have been happy in every job you’ve had. But you will miss out on so many things in life.

You’ll miss your son’s first step.

You will miss him reading his first word.

You will miss him laying in your arms at the end of a long day because he’s a great sleeper and already in bed when you get home.

You will flunk the bar exam. But the score will be so close that you think it’s where you were supposed to be. The rational person that you are, you figure with a little more studying you’ll pass, but the second time around, you are commuting four hours a day and working 10-12 hours a day.

I’m here to let you know that it’s ok to give it all up to be a wife and mother. That man, the father of your child, will love you the way no other person on this planet has shown you love.  He will love you through your good decisions and your bad, and he will not fault you for your mistakes.

He will question your choices, but just so that you will think about it.

For once, your desire to put others first will not only be accepted, but appreciated. Your husband will push you to be better, love yourself more and be a better you. Your son will love you unconditionally despite all of your faults. All of this will lead you to have a family of five.

I’m telling you that you don’t have to wait to do you. There’s something in your heart that you want to pursue, but you are too busy being afraid that it’s not the rationale and responsible decision. He won’t care and neither should you.

Focus, love and become the woman you have always dreamed to be. Start when your son is conceived, don’t let the surprise of his arrival sideline you.

With love,

Your future self

 

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. This week’s sentence, brought to you by Michelle of Crumpets and Bollocks is “Dear Me…”
Hosts: Me (Kristi of Finding Ninee)
and Michelle -above- Crumpets and Bollocks.

Finish the Sentence Friday is a link-up where writers and bloggers come together to share their themselves with a particular sentence. If you’d like to stay ahead of future sentences and participate, join our Facebook group.  Link up your sentence prompts to “When I was 19…” below!

40 comments on “A Letter to My Younger Self: Keep Going”

  1. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Here’s to us not waiting to do for ourselves. Such a beautiful post.

  2. Tamara says:

    Beautiful. I have learned to stop waiting for things to happen to me, and to make them happen.
    And I’ve learned that I can probably overcome everything. I always find my way, although sometimes it’s really, really hard.

    1. April Noelle says:

      I didn’t say anything about easy. LOL. It can be very hard to do push pass your internal conflict.

  3. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I try to make things happen as much as possible. If I sit here and wait, they will never happen.

  4. This is a powerful letter to yourself looking back did you see how far you have come and your growth. So many times we think if we wait our situation will change but it never. I decided a long time to not waited but find away to open doors it’s not easy but who said life is easy.

  5. mya.k says:

    I’ve learned to take risks and do what I believe in. And if I don’t I could be missing out on a lot.

  6. Natalie says:

    April, this is absolutely beautiful. It is so raw and so honest and just SO moving! And you’re absolutely right. There is no higher calling than to be a wife and a mother. The commitments, service, and life goals that get the least notice are life’s most important. Kudos to you! P.S. You made me cry. :’-)

  7. Elizabeth O. says:

    Just like what Dory said in Finding Nemo, just keep swimming. No matter what happens, we have to keep moving on with life, that’s the only way to do it. Thanks for this wonderful read.

  8. Victoria says:

    This is such a beautiful letter April. This letter was make me inspired

  9. Rosey says:

    Ah that man, does not exist in my world. I am glad he exists in others. 🙂

  10. What a beautiful post. It is such an eye opener. I am sometimes guilty of “waiting” for things to happen, although I very well know that unless I do something about it, nothing will happen. I will share this post with my friends.

  11. This really hits home for me. I struggle with my career and missing out on family time. It is so hard not to beat yourself up about the choices you make, and it doesn’t matter which one you make. We always wonder what we are missing out on if we had chosen differently. It is nice to know others struggle with the same ideas.
    Thank you

    1. April Noelle says:

      A lot of us do, and as women, we don’t do a great job of supporting others in their choices. Please be confident in what you do for yourself and your family.

  12. What a beautiful letter! I often wish I could give myself advice back when I was younger.

  13. Liz Mays says:

    This is both very sweet and yet sad because I can feel that you wish you’d taken a different path earlier. But it all ended up ok, right?

  14. Ashleigh says:

    What a beautiful letter! I did this when I went on my first business trip to NYC and just told myself how amazing I was for facing fears.

  15. Maria says:

    I have “perseverance” tattooed on my foot as a reminder to keep going – to keep moving forward.

  16. Jeanette says:

    This is a great letter to yourself! It is something We should all do to help us see how far we have come in life.

  17. I’ve never written a letter to my future self but I should. I love yours and I hope that I keep pushing myself to be all that I can be. Onward march.

  18. I love this! That’s the best advice we can ever give ourselves. Keep going. Always keep going and never stop moving.

  19. I make things happen but if they don’t I realize it’s not meant to be.

  20. Sarh S says:

    I learned quite a while ago to not wait around for things to happen. Hard work always pays off in the end, one way or another.

  21. Sarah Bailey says:

    This is such a wonderful letter, I’ve never thought of writing one to my future self, though I have done one to my past self. x

  22. ricci says:

    This is a great letter. Never give up and always keep going!!

  23. April Mims says:

    So well said! It seems like we get focused on a certain direction and then get sidelined. But that’s what is meant to be and so much better than the original focus.

  24. What a great message to your future self. I am sure you can accomplaish everything you set your mind to.

  25. Nikki says:

    This is such a great idea, and what a great letter to your future self! Make sure you look back at it when you need a boost!

  26. This is such an inspiration. What a wonderful gift to recognize personal accomplishment and keep track of your personal gain. I love it!

  27. This is a beautiful letter. I wish i could give my younger self some advice.

    1. April Noelle says:

      I’m hoping that someone many years younger reads it and knows that it’ll be ok.

  28. It’ll be fun to look back on this letter years from now and see how far you’ve come. Can’t wait to see your future

    1. April Noelle says:

      Ah, thank you. I hope by next year, there will be a lot to report.

  29. Lynndee says:

    This is really great. I surely never thought of a writing a letter to myself. Now, I feel like I’m going to write one too. 🙂

  30. I think I need to send one of these to myself! What a great idea to write a letter to your future self!

  31. Ashleigh says:

    What a great way to encourage yourself. I have done a similar thing and it really made me feel better.

  32. Kiwi says:

    What a sweet letter to yourself! I wrote one to my 16 year old self years ago…sometimes its cool to write a letter to yourself because you already lived the hindsight. I hope I find a husband like yours that will love me and encourage me like yours did.

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