Almost every day, I’m reminded that growing up does not equal more confidence, calmness or control. I don’t only mean for others, but for myself as well. Often, it takes effort to make small changes to alter my overall attitude.
Sometimes, the small changes are easy. There was a time when my son would ask me for something and I would realize an hour (or more) went by before tending to his needs. One day, he expressed how he didn’t like it when I didn’t pay attention to him. So now, when one of my children ask me for something, I respond, then I actually do it within in the next few minutes. I finish the thought or the sentence, then tend to them.
How has this made things better? First, they only ask me once. When I respond, they sit down and wait patiently for me to do whatever. Second, there are a lot less distractions. Once they get what they want, they’re on to the next play thing. Third, they are confident that I will help them with their needs, not their wants. They often forget the things they “want” by the time I’m ready to get it. Then, I give them a kiss and go back to what I was doing.
That’s a small change. One that you can make today or the next time the situation happens. Granted, it does take practice to make it easy to do, and it does get easier.
What about the big changes, like altering your attitude or changing your behavior? Losing our beauty to our negative behaviors not only effect ourselves but the others around us.
Do You Do Any of these 10 Behaviors:
Behavior One: All or Nothing Allison
Allison sees her behavior as black or white. Once she determines that she’s messed up one piece, everything is in the gutter.
Behavior Two: Blaming Barbara
Barbara finds that everything needs to be someone’s “fault”. The cause cannot be circumstantial and when she can’t find fault with someone else, then she turns it on herself.
Behavior Three: Over and Over Olivia
Olivia rolls negativity from one event to the next, finding fault and failure everywhere. She never feels successful because she’s always waiting for something to fail.
Behavior Four: Not a Big Deal Naomi
Naomi has false humility. She belittles her efforts and doesn’t see any benefits to her actions because “everyone can do it”.
Behavior Five: Shoulda Sharon
Sharon puts a lot of pressure on herself based on what she should’ve done and thus places these high expectations on others.
Behavior Six: Drama Queen Jean
Jean blows everything out of proportion and thus takes the smallest action and attributes a large meaning.
Behavior Seven: Psych Out Sally
Sally only believes the worst in others. She doesn’t rely on anyone because she doesn’t believe they will come through.
Behavior Eight: Bad Mouth Brandy
Brandy likes to talk about people, calling everyone names, including herself.
Behavior Nine: Emo Esther
Esther is lead by her emotions, not thinking reasonably or rationally about situations and her negative perception is the reality.
Behavior Ten: Negative Nancy
Nancy only notices the negative part of a situation. She completely discounts any positive part because the negative outshines the positive.
I have to say I’ve been guilty of several of these, especially Shoulda Sharon. I create impossible requirements and standards for myself and thus also expect the same of others. Over the years, I’ve become more compassionate in understanding other people’s situations and realizing that some people don’t want to change. I don’t say that to judge, but some people are in the frame of mind to do things differently and others don’t.
Regardless of the way they feel, I can’t make them. I’ve had to learn how to be ok with it instead of beating them over the head with it. I used to constantly wonder why they never had a positive response to what I was telling them and jump to it. Because we all know that when someone tells you to change your way of thinking over and over, you just wake up the next day and do it, right? Of course not. So, I had to stop.
That’s only the most prominent, I also suffer from many of these other behaviors. What about you? Have you been guilty of losing your beauty? Which of these stop you from being your most beautiful?
This post was inspired by Essentials for Godly Living – Session III: Changing Your Behaviors to Get What You Want
References: Prov. 23:7