“Thin” Doesn’t Run in Our Family

For Labor Day, I had some family over. As a hard-working single mother of three children, she tries her best everyday. She’s a heavy gal, like me, but the more time that I spend with her, the more I realize a couple of things. First, she lumps me in with her every weight discussion we have, regardless of the purpose of the conversation. Second, she doesn’t think that our family can be “thin”.

Lumping… I like that word for this, mainly because that’s exactly what it is. When discussing weight, she says “we” can’t be thin, “we” have never been thin and “we” shouldn’t look to be thin. I will say that I’m not quite sure what her interpretation of “thin” is. Is it something like this?

Victoria’s Secret

Or is it like this?

Dove’s Real Woman Campaign

 To be frank, I have been “thin”. I was a size 5 at one point in time – for about six months. I felt weak and unhealthy, so I put on a little weight, taking me to a size 7 for another six months. I maintained it until I fell into a major depression, losing my best friend, I ate. Then before I got healthy, I fell into another depression, putting me at then-all-time high of size 18. But’s that’s all an aside, the point is I can be thin and each person is there own.

There is power in our thoughts. When we lump ourselves in with someone else, you feel safe, you feel safe to not make a change. When you can hold on to the idea that you and this other larger person are the same person, if they don’t do it, then you don’t actually have to try. Don’t let your attachment to your current self stop you becoming the person you want to be.

Our family… like a lot of black families, the women, especially, are large. My mother is larger now, maintaining a size 5 until her third child in her thirties. She never took it off, but she was tiny for a long time. My sister is also thin, donning a size 3. It’s not our family, it’s our decisions. We make awful decisions. We use food to console us, we eat too much, and we eat fried and starches.

That’s it. No genetic differences, no “big bones”, no “phat”. We are just big. You know how I know this… when other people who previously said they were big-boned and couldn’t lose weight, actually loses weight (through diet and exercise or procedure), they drop to a svelte size 5 or 7 and all perception of “big-bones” disappears.

However, we do have different body shapes. I can never look like that Victoria’s Secret model above and I’m ok with that. But I will be thin… thin and HEALTHY!


If we would change our thinking, we would be thinner.

Joining the Drop it Like It’s Hot Blog Hop



5 thoughts on ““Thin” Doesn’t Run in Our Family”

  1. There is definitely safety in numbers. I agree that sometimes people try to lump you into their category so that they can avoid making changes in their lives—a sort of “we can’t help ourselves” mentality. Good on you for rising above and choosing to be the type of “thin” that works for you.

  2. (Hi, I posted my website incorrectly the first time!)

    I found this post on Bloggy Mom.

    I can relate to so much in here. I was a skinny girl all my life, even after my first and second children were born. Once I hit 25 I couldn’t eat the way I used to, my metabolism slowed way down and it started getting more difficult to drop that weight. Now, 9 years later and after having 2 more, I’m finally making good food choices and have lost 28 pounds so far.

    I have friends in all sizes, but I’ve noticed my friends who were big with me, now seem to feel like they have lost an ally, or as though I’m judging their food choices. It makes people uncomfortable..food is a powerful addiction!

    And misery loves company. It sounds like maybe your friend isn’t ready to shed her pounds and feels like she can relate to you and be big together.

    Good luck with the remainder of your weight loss journey!

    1. K, I deleted the other comment so there's only one (and no confusion)…

      Yes, I agree and I feel that the more I'm around her the more negative food choices I make. I try to make good ones, but she spends a lot of time saying that she wants something majorly unhealthy and I manage to convince myself that even semi-bad foods are good.

      Thanks so much… and to you too!

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